Sweet, Chic & Intimate: Everything to Know About Planning a Micro Wedding

A micro wedding is a full-on wedding celebration, complete with a ceremony, dinner, and dancing — just with a tiny guest list. While weddings with small guest lists have always been a thing, micro weddings in particular gained popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic, as couples got creative to find ways to still host the weddings of their dreams safely and within a highly-competitive market for wedding venues.

As the cost of hosting a wedding soared in the years after the pandemic, the trend has stuck around as a way to keep overall wedding costs low without sacrificing all of the celebratory aspects of a traditional wedding.

The key difference between micro weddings and elopements is that micro weddings are not a secret. They include everything you’d expect to see in a traditional wedding, just on a smaller scale.

Elopements on the other hand, typically involve just the couple, their officiant, and a witness. Traditionally, couples elope in private without telling friends or family members ahead of time. That said, elopement — like micro weddings — have become more mainstream over the last 5 years, with many couples choosing to head to the courthouse, city hall, or even a far-flung destination to elope without the secrecy.

Think of minimonies as straddling the line between micro weddings and elopements. First popularized during the pandemic, a minimony involves inviting just a handful of guests (typically less than 10) to an ultra-intimate ceremony in which the couple gets legally married. After tying the knot, the couple and their guests may head to a small dinner or celebration — or, they may host a larger, “sequel wedding” at a later date. A minimony is a popular choice for couples planning destination weddings in which they’ll need to be legally married in the U.S. ahead of tying the knot abroad.

No matter what type of wedding you’re planning, setting your budget is always the first step. Whether you spend $5,000 or $50,000, knowing how much money you have to work with will inform all of your decisions, including your venue, how many guests you can accommodate, and the details you can splurge on.

Having a much smaller guest list opens up a world of unique venue options for your micro wedding — so take advantage of this opportunity to tie the knot in a space that wouldn’t accommodate a large guest list! If possible, choose a location where you can have both the ceremony and reception on the property; this way, guests won't have to travel from one venue to another.

Here are some unique venues to consider for your micro wedding:

• Restaurants: Make a list of your favorite local spots and then inquire if they have any private spaces available for a super small wedding.
• Hotel suites/penthouses: If weather permits, have your ceremony outdoors on the hotel grounds or even the rooftop, followed by dinner in a suite or a private room at the hotel's restaurant.
• Galleries/museums: A local art gallery or small museum would be such a modern and chic space for an intimate wedding.
• Cafes: Once the coffee shop closes for the day, you and your crew could turn your favorite cafe into a cozy party space.

Once you have your micro wedding venue booked and your date set, it’s time to get your guests excited to celebrate alongside you! Though not mandatory, we highly recommend sending save the dates for your micro wedding. After all, you’ve put careful consideration into thoughtfully selecting each guest to invite — so giving them plenty of advance notice of your wedding is a great way to ensure as many of your loved ones as possible can attend.

Aim to send your save the dates 6 to 9 months ahead of your mirco wedding. When building out your wedding planning timeline, be sure to buffer in a few weeks in front of that window to browse, select, and order the perfect save the date for your celebration. (For more information on how to pick the right save the date for you, check out our roundup of 30+ gorgeous save the date ideas.)

Even if you're only inviting 20 guests, you should still include all of the traditional elements that will make your wedding feel like, well, a wedding. This includes invitations, flowers, dinner, dancing, cake, and any other details that are important to the both of you. Below, we’ve listed out the wedding vendors you should consider hiring for your micro wedding.

• Wedding planner or wedding coordinator: While you may not need a full-service wedding planner, it's still a good idea to book a pro to manage the wedding day itself. Inquire if the wedding planner offers basic, more pared-down packages or hourly rates.
• Caterer: Good food and booze are crucial to any good party, so work with a caterer on a custom menu that reflects your and your partner's personalities and tastes.
• Bartender: You’re likely going to want to pop the champagne for toasts and sip on a custom cocktail or two while you dance the night away with your guests. So a bartender should still be a must on your list of micro wedding vendors. Ask your venue if they have a preferred bartender partner whom you can work with to design a smaller package. Because of your smaller guest list, it may also work for you to buy the alcohol yourself, and then hire one or two bartenders to serve up drinks during the reception.

Just because your wedding is small, doesn’t mean you have to skimp on beautiful decor and details! Many couples actually opt for a smaller guest list so that they can dedicate a larger portion of their budget to building an experience that transports their guests into a fantasy world.

Really any aesthetic or traditional wedding theme can work for a micro wedding, but here are a few creative micro wedding themes to get you inspired:

• Garden Party: Whisk guests away into an enchanted garden by hosting an intimate garden party wedding either outdoors surrounded by manicured blooms or inside a lush greenhouse. Really lean into the theme with floral-patterned china for place settings and a pastel color palette. If you’re hosting your wedding during the day or early evening, consider incorporating an afternoon tea service complete with finger sandwiches and towers of bite-sized sweet treats during cocktail hour or even in place of a traditional sit-down dinner.

Since you're only mailing a small handful of invites, you might have some extra time and energy to make each invitation extra special. You could add accessories to your wedding invitation suite, like printed invitation backers or envelope liners in a coordinating design, belly bands to wrap all of the cards together, customized wax seals to elegantly close the envelopes, and personalized postage stamps that feature your names, initials, or even a photo. Or, you could choose letterpress-printed invitations, which have a luxurious look and feel.

One of the biggest reasons couples choose to host micro weddings is so that they can spend real, quality time with each and every one of their guests. So make sure to think about how you’d like to make those moments happen. Consider opening your ceremony by asking your guests to join you in setting an intention for the wedding, writing personal vows to share in front of everyone during your ceremony (some couples are more comfortable sharing personal vows in a smaller setting than they would be in a traditional large wedding), or instead of traditional escort cards, write a personalized thank you note to each guest to use as their place markers.

However you decide to do this is up to you, but be sure to put some thought into it during the wedding planning process!

Before you tie the knot in front of your closest friends and family, you'll need to get your marriage license to make everything official. Marriage license requirements vary widely depending on location, but in most states, you can go to the county clerk's office to get a license (you might need to make an appointment beforehand). Some states have an expiration date on the marriage license, so you'll need to make sure your wedding ceremony takes place within the time window.

Though your guest list may have been small, we’re willing to bet you have plenty of other people in your life who will want to know that you’ve tied the knot! Make a list of those who will want to know the happy news and send out a wedding announcement after the fact. This is a great place to feature your favorite photo from the day, and to share a few special details or memories.

Like with traditional weddings, how much a micro wedding costs can vary widely depending on where you plan to tie the knot. On average, couples spend just under $11,000 on micro weddings — which is about a third of what an average traditional wedding costs. Expect to pay closer to $15,000 in expensive areas like large cities or California. On the flip side, you can expect to pay significantly less — closer to $6,000 — if you’re hosting your wedding in more budget-friendly areas like the Midwest.

Remember that who you invite to your wedding is ultimately a decision only you and your spouse-to-be can make. That said, most couples going the micro wedding route choose to invite immediate family on both sides and a few of their closest friends. If you have the space, consider checking in with your parents to see if they have a dear friend they would like in attendance (especially if they are helping pay for the celebration).

If you are struggling to keep your guest list under 50 people, you can consider a child-free wedding, limiting plus-ones, and inviting only your very best friends.

Like we mentioned above, micro weddings typically leverage many of the same vendors as traditional weddings, just on a smaller scale. That being said, there are always vendors that you can skip or cut back on, depending on your priorities and venue. Here are a few of the most common vendors couples skip when planning a micro wedding:

• Officiant: A micro wedding is all about prioritizing intimacy, so hiring an officiant can feel a little bit out-of-step with that purpose. If you can, consider asking a close friend or family member to officiate your ceremony. You likely already know someone who is licensed and ordained, but if you don’t, you could offer to pay for them to get ordained — which can cost anywhere from $10-$100, depending on the service they use.
• Florist: If you’re getting married in a garden or greenhouse, for example, consider skipping a florist and adding just a few DIY floral arrangements to your reception tables and ceremony space.
• Cake Designer: If you’re not a big dessert person, consider skipping a luxury wedding cake in favor of a more budget-friendly option. Ask your local market if they can make something for you, or rope in your friend or family member who is a whiz in the kitchen to make it for you.
• Live Musicians: If you’re working with a more constrained budget, consider picking just a live band or a DJ. If you opt for a DJ — or have created your own playlist for the day — but still want live music at the ceremony, consider asking a friend who can play an instrument if they’d like to be involved in your big day.

The two main benefits of having a micro wedding are keeping the day feeling intimate and saving money. This makes micro weddings perfect for couples who want to make spending time with their loved ones their top priority for the day, or who want to throw a beautiful wedding on a more limited budget.

The main challenge that comes with planning a micro wedding is often choosing who gets left off the guest list. Like an elopement, expect that there may be some family or friends who are disappointed that they are not going to join you on your big day. Be prepared for some hurt feelings and have a gentle, but thorough, explanation of your reasoning for hosting a micro wedding in your back pocket to rely on as you navigate those conversations.