wedding invitation wording & etiquette

The first line of the wedding invitation is where you list who’s hosting the wedding (a.k.a. who is paying for the wedding). Traditionally, this was usually the bride’s parents, so listing their names on the host line was a way of acknowledging that generosity. These days, however, more and more couples are either paying for the wedding themselves (in this case, you can omit the host line entirely) or receiving financial contributions from parents on both sides—in this case, you can list all parents’ names or opt for something simpler like, “Together with their parents” or “Together with their families.”

The most important thing to keep in mind about the host line is to word it in a way that feels comfortable to you and your spouse-to-be as a couple. Here are a few rules to help you figure out the best host-line wording for your family dynamics:

• The word “and” in between two names traditionally implies that those people are married.
• If your parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, just keep each parent on a separate line.
• If you’re going to include the name of stepparent, keep it on the same line.
• Hosts who are not married should be on separate lines.
• Names should not be listed in order of who paid more.
• If you want to include the name of a parent who is deceased, you’ll need to rearrange things a bit, as someone who has passed can’t actually serve as a host. A common way to honor a deceased parent is alongside a member of the couple’s name as “Olivia French, daughter of Susan French,” or “Olivia French, daughter of Michael French and the late Susan French.”

The request line is where you invite people to attend your wedding (a.k.a. “Please come!”), so use this section to set the tone for your celebration. If your wedding is formal, use more formal language to reflect the occasion (e.g., “request the honor of your presence…”); if your wedding is casual, use less formal language (e.g., “Would love for you to join them...” or “Want you to come party with us…”). Here are a few more things to keep in mind:

• “The honor of your presence” is traditionally used to denote a religious service. Some couples opt to spell “honour” using the British spelling; both are correct but spelling it with a “u” evokes a more formal and traditional feel. (Note: If you’re using “honour” on the invitation, we recommend matching it with “favour” as in “favour of your reply” on the RSVP card.)
• “The pleasure of your company” (or variations on this) is used to denote a non-religious ceremony locale.

Here, you’re outlining what you are inviting people to share in. Some examples:

• Traditionally, with the bride’s parent’s hosting, this line is usually something like, “At the marriage of their daughter.”
• If both parents are hosting, the line might read “At the marriage of their children.”
• If you’re hosting yourselves, the line could be something like “At the celebration of their union” or “As they tie the knot.”

This one might seem easy—that is, until you start thinking about the nitty-gritty details. Whose name goes first? Do you have to include last names? What about middle names? There really are no right or wrong answers, so do whatever feels most comfortable to you both, but here are a few suggestions:

• For different-sex couples, the bride’s name typically goes first, followed by the groom’s name. If the bride’s parents’ names are listed at the top, the bride’s name can just be her first and middle name (without last name), while the groom’s name is listed in full, or his first and middle names are listed, followed by the line “Son of Mr. & Mrs. Stephen Wong.”
• For same-sex couples, you can list the names in alphabetical order by last name, or in the order you choose (or perhaps in the order that looks best with the invitation design).
• For a less formal feel, you may opt to list first names only.

• Traditionally, the date and time should be spelled out in full. For example, if your ceremony is on September 15, 2024, at 4:30 p.m., the wording should read, “Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon.”
• The day of the week and the month should be capitalized. The year should be lowercase.
• There is no “and” when spelling out the year.
• Time of day should be spelled out as “four o’clock” or “half after four o’clock.” Note that “half after” is the most traditional way to indicate time. However, less formal invitations can use “half past four o’clock” or “four-thirty.”
• Traditionally, there is no need to add phrases such as “in the afternoon” or “in the evening” unless the event takes place at times like 8, 9 or 10. You should then designate “in the morning” or “in the evening” for clarity. However, some stationery designers add these phrases to fill out a line to improve the overall look of the invite design. This is totally up to you and your designer.
• Evening begins at five o’clock, otherwise it is considered afternoon from noon until four o’clock.
• It is important to note that these formal date and time rules are frequently broken in more modern invitation designs, where the date and time are listed using numerals; using numerals is also preferred for more informal weddings. Be consistent with the level of formality you want your wedding to be from the invitation wording to the attire, ceremony, venue, and party.

• List the ceremony venue as follows: “Venue Name” on one line with “City, State” on the following line; for formal weddings, the state name is usually spelled out (instead of abbreviations).
• The venue’s street address is traditionally not included (although you may decide to list it), unless it is a private residence.
• Zip codes are not usually included.

• If the reception will be at the same location as the ceremony, you can simply say, “Reception to follow” or “Dinner and dancing to follow.”
• If the reception is at a different location, you can list the venue on the following line, or you may decide to include a separate insert card (called a reception card) inviting guests to the reception, with the venue’s full address.
• If you’re not serving a full meal, this would be a great place to let guests know by saying something like, “Cake, punch, and merriment to follow” or "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing."
• You can also use this line to get creative and set the tone for the reception with something like, “Join us for an intimate dinner following…” or "Drinks, dancing, and shenanigans to follow."

Dress code
Including a line about the wedding’s dress code is optional but can be helpful for guests; however, if your wedding is black tie, you must include that on the invitation. If you don’t include dress code information on the invitation, then guests will infer attire details based on the formality of the wedding invitation itself (i.e., if the invitation is very fancy, guests will likely anticipate a formal affair). The dress code line should be listed on a line following the reception location.

Wedding website
Typically you don’t print your wedding website on the main invitation card; rather, you should list it on one of the accompanying cards (like a reception card or additional information card). It’s also a good idea to have your wedding website URL (or the QR code) on your save the date card.